Xof Recaps - The End

[xof1013]

This is hard to write. It was hard to do.

I've made a decision that will disappoint some of you. Others won't care a wit.

I'm going to have to stop doing the recaps for the NA Qaf.

I understand that I should never have even started doing the season 4 recaps - I shouldn't have begun them, only to pull out a month into it.

I can only say I'm sorry.

They are just getting to be too much. Overwhelming actually. I get off from work, stressed out and tired - and immediately I start thinking of the recaps. When I don't start doing them right away, I feel guilty. The longer it takes me to get them done - the worse I feel. The guiltier I get. And it's mostly self-imposed.

But the whole process is stiffling. I can't write on anything else without feeling bad. And my muse is hybernating like a fiend.

The recaps shouldn't be this stressful. They started off being fun.

The crux of this is, I enjoy them. I enjoy having created them. And I'm upset at myself about quitting. But I have too... Even if I were to trudge through, they would suffer. And I never wanted them to reflect poorly.

I still enjoy the show. I just don't enjoy the 'work' that this entertainment has become. Two jobs is too much...

Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a shmuck.

But here I am....

xof

Comments

[mickfish.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're a schmuck. It's too much? Then you stop - that simple. And it is simple, and anyone who doesn't like it can just fuck off. You've bene doing this out of the good of your own heart, you get no money or perks from it, you're just lucky enough to get thank you's and be appreciated. No worries!!

[september1967.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry they caused you so much stress. I loved reading them and I'm sorry to see them go, but I would rather have a happy, unstressed xof than not!

Bertina

[stella-stardust.livejournal.com]

Hi, just thought I'd drop in and say you're not a schmuck. Dropping something that stresses you so, and you don't have to do - that's the right thing.

Enjoy your time off!

Poppy.

[carnivalnights.livejournal.com]

Don't be silly. Anyone who doesn't understand your reasons for doing this doesn't deserve to have read any of your wonderful caps at all. They will be greatly missed, never think otherwise, but your heath and stress level is far more important. <3

QAF ReCaps

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not really anonymous, but I don't have a LiveJournal, so I wasn't sure what to put.
Please don't feel bad, or guilty, about your decision to stop doing something in fandom. If it's become that much of a chore, and it sounds like it has, and isn't fun any more, then look only toward the future and what other things you can accomplish without this albatross around your neck. Believe me, I've been enjoying the recaps as much as the next person, but I think (hope) most fans will understand your decision. I've been in fandom for over 30 years, participated in a variety of tasks, from zine production to convention organizing, encompassing several fandoms. And I've always said that when it ceases to be fun, stop doing it. Fandom activity is a *hobby*---it's what we do to escape the mundane world and RL. It's not a *job*. I think you're very wise to quit while you're on top, while you're ahead, instead of letting the recaps deteriorate and die a linger-death. Good luck to you, and I hope you continue doing what you *do* still enjoy!

njpax@aol.com

[teri-lyn.livejournal.com]

You aren't a shmuck. You are OUR WONDERFUL XOF! You can't continue doing something that drains you so much emotionally. QAF should still be enjoyable for You and it sounds like it wasn't that anymore. When it becomes WORK, its time to stop.

WE love You, I love You and i want You happy.

[pellsfan.livejournal.com]

Sweety, if anyone complains then I say...screw 'em! Your health and happiness are much the most important thing. I'll definitely miss them, but then again, I watch them and tape them too. So just relax and know that we love you.

Paula

[(Anonymous)]

I'm just an 8-month-old QaF newbie fan (I'm nobody really), and I've never read one of your recaps. Didn't even know you did them. But just skimming through some of them I realized it is a shitload of writing you do. I wouldn't of lasted a week doing what you did. Lots of 'props' to ya....

and...

thanks.

Peace out,
Benji

benji_mex@yahoo.com

No Apologies, No Regrets

[pikespeakwench.livejournal.com]

As someone who has gotten to know your work through the B/M and MAHM yahoo groups I have tremendous respect for you. You are wonderfully gifted and incredibly dedicated. I am so thankful to have gotten to share your beautiful writing. Self-care is SO important and I am so glad that you are able to step back and say that it is time to put yourself first. Please know that your QAF friends love and respect you. As Brian would say, "no apologies, no regrets."

[punkdoc.livejournal.com]

I've always enjoyed your recaps -- but if they are stressing you out, they should go.

Recaps

[(Anonymous)]

I don't care what you write....I just love the way you write.

Stop doing the recaps...but don't stop writing.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

Let the complaints slide off your back.

You did a lot for the fandom by doing recaps but that's such a huge drain that wnyone one reasonable will understand why you stopped.


Thank you for the recaps you did write this season, and in the past. :)

Do what makes you happy...

[nytelover.livejournal.com]

I too will be sad to see them go, but I agree with everyone else. If they cause that much stress, kiss them goodbye. It's not like you can't discuss it on the lists/groups/message boards if you wanted to. There will always be a forum for your thoughts on each episode.

And if this means you can start writing what you want, when you want - then I most certainly won't complain about a few more Xof classics. lol

[mizzhoneeybun.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to add my support for you hon. I too will miss the recaps, but totally understand and respect your reasons for discontinuing with them.

*big huggles*

Tia

[texan-elf.livejournal.com]

Of course I totally understand your decision. You must take care of yourself and I wouldn't want all of this to continue stressing you out and draining you. I will miss your recaps for two main reasons: one, the humor & snarkiness and two, your writing and attention to detail have always made the episode so vivid to me. Esp. this season when I haven't been able to afford Showtime or the digital box from my tv company and have been depending on a very generous friend to dub them from her tape for me so reading your recaps from this season was just like being in front of the tv.

I hope your muse come out of hibernation and from time to time takes you on trips of fancy whether it's writing a drabble for yourself or a story for posting. I also don't want you to feel guilty about needing to take this direction. Best wishes.

[bentley1530.livejournal.com]

I will miss your recaps but I understand your decision. Life is too short to spend time writing the recaps if the process has become a burden.

[(Anonymous)]

hi Xof,

i have always enjoyed your recaps, they have always been entertaining. i can understand your decision, though.

take care,

drcozmickz@yahoo.com :)

Hugs (From Stealthlamb)

[(Anonymous)]

Hey xof,
Your own brand of humor, wit and sensitivity will be missed, but we all work and know what it's like to feel to tired to even relax. I've been there; more often than not. Just take care of yourself. You know what's best for you, and that's all we want for you.
HUGS!


Jenn