Blow Them At The Moon...

So today is my anniversary. Nine years at the same job.

And the day is rainy, dark and full of storms. Gray and wet.

Yey, right?

Anyway, where IS everyone? No one's saying a bleeding thing on lj or the lists lately. It's like talking to a void.


x

I just realized something. And it made me literally feel like an idiot.

For over a year now, I've been walking around thinking I've been at my job for seven and a half years. When people asked, that's what I answered - seven years, over seven years, seven and a half years, etc....

Well guess what? I'm a moron. I've been there eight and a half years.

I friggin' lost a year somewhere - at least in my head. Sigh....

All I can say is that the last two years have been VERY unlike all the ones before them - as in it's been several months in job hell. All thanks to us having a new CEO that was a tyrant-wannabe. Two years of having your buttons pushed, of setting co-workers against each other, of placating people one second and then totally dropping them and their problems the next. (Did I mention that he had "Art of War" on his bookshelf?) All the while thinking himself, and proclaiming himself our saviour all over town.

So now he's gone - been sacked actually - which is deliciously satisfying. But the longer he's gone, the more I realize what an impact he had on me and all of my co-workers. Of the pain, anguish and negativity he brought to us every damn day. I feel like I'm shell shocked sometimes.

And now so damn happy he's gone. But then there's no telling what the new CEO will be like.... God above, please don't let it be someone like him - or worse.

So - 8 1/2 years. How the heck could I forget that? sigh....

xof

There's a cloud hovering over my workplace. Truly, it seems like it anyway.

These past days and weeks, it's been rough. I mean, we always have bad days - a little stress, etc. But recently... it's been not pleasant.

Three weeks ago, the mother of one of our older workers died.

Two weeks ago, the mother of another of our workers died.

Friday, the mother of another worker had a severe stroke and is still having mini-strokes/seizures three days later.

On top of all that....

A co-worker got married Saturday, and one of her guests got drunk at the reception and started a fight which caused the cops to be called.

Today - a newer co-worker's spouse miscarried their second child.

A very very very big fucking cloud hanging all around.

Oh, and did I mention we're going through our annual audit as the kicker? A month of folks looking through everything, trying to find mistakes or problems they can point a finger at....sigh.

Lucky that October is vacation time for more than half the office to boot.

Someone, anyone - got a hug to lend?

hugs

xof

Receive a gift from a friend, relation or lover - one that is handmade, handsewn - please know that it is made with great effort. I'm not tooting my own horn by saying this. It's just that in the age of the store bought easy solution, so many fail to understand the effort and time that goes into creating things with one's own two hands.

I'm almost at the end of over a month of working on a cross-stitch design for my boss' wedding gift. I've been at it night after night, weekend after weekend. And now... I see it is beautiful. I know his bride will like it. But I'm so dang tired of it, I just can't say.

My fingers HURT. They are stiff and tired. My eyes... Just imagine having to look, to focus on a white or cream canvas for hours on end. To see each square that make up the whole of it. Thousands of them. And imagine having to constantly count and count and count - then recount to make sure you've got each stitch correctly placed - because you have NO IDEA how horrid it can be to get something wrong in the design early on, only to have to try and working around it/fix it weeks later.

Thousands of "X"s made one at a time, in so many colors your vision blurs. And then.... You finish the design, only to have to go back and sew in the outline to the piece afterwards so it'll look complete.

Average of three hours every night, and soooo many tasks that you don't get to do which you miss and wish you could do instead. (Writing being the biggest of them.)

I'm not complaining, I'm trying to express what it's like. And how much it does in the end - "COST" the one who made it. (Side comment, I once had a woman try and offer me less than $50 dollars for a piece I'd done - a pillow that was 12" by 12" - completely filled in with cross-stitching until there was no canvas showing. It had taken me over three months to do, so many hours I can't describe - and she wanted to give me what probably amounted to 1 cent per hour for it - and thought I was rude when I politely declined. Grrrr...)

So remember, if you are fortunate to have such a friend/loved one - and in this case, employee who's broke and can't spend with the big boys...lol - know that it has a uniqueness, a value that should not be ignored or diminished. (Of course, sometimes it feels this way when you write a fic and then hardly anyone sends feedback, too...lol.)

Hugs

xof

And no, I'm not kidding.

I got hit - or rather sideswipped by an SUV. Meaning me - not my car, ME - the person. Grrrrrr....

Walking back to my office, and round the corner coming straight at me is this SUV. Woman wasn't even watching, didn't even notice me - and believe me, considering my mother nature figure - that's REALLLLLY idiotic.

The driver's side mirror hit me in the left arm, and promptly bent all the way back towards the driver side window.

I'm fine, it didn't hurt me really. Just scared the CRAP out of me. I even kept my footing.

Course all this happens right in front of my supervisor's window, so she leaps up and comes racing down the hall - everyone wondering what the heck's happened, to get to the back door I was headed for originally - to see if I was okay.

Much drama.... And me being too shaky and shocked to bitch the woman out when she followed me into work to say sorry sorry sorry. Sighhh....

Anyone got a hug for me? Could use it....

xof

Ok - another Friday of substitution in a job that leaves me exhausted and in pain.

My feet F*ucking hate me....... And I'm not fond of them either.

It's a bad time, will be until they stop hurting...

But I'm off them, so YEAH!!!

Hugs.

xof

My feet hurt so damn bad....

ouchhhhhhhhh.....

The muscles feel bruised, and keep jumping.

I'll have to soak them before I feel human again.

Only to go back to doing the same thing tomorrow.

Work fucking sucks - esp when you're doing other people's jobs.

Sighhh....

xof