Venting...

[xof1013]

You know, there are some moments in this QAF fandom that just bite.

I enjoy the show. Don't get me wrong...

But the online fans - the attitude they sometimes project... It's wearing me down.

I sought out the position of Co-Moderator of one list. Trying to maintain the peace. Trying to be there when problems arise that drove quite a few members into silence. Well, I got what I asked for. And now, in the mist of my trying to be the peacemaker - to show as much consideration as I can to others - I've got people nitpicking every request I make.

And these are folks who wanted me (or anyone really) to step in, in the first place on that list.

So I get folks agreeing with me, then I get folks not agreeing. Complaining actually. In a polite way...

But after allllllll these dang years - I'm getting tired.

My hands are tired, that I know. They are burning. And still I'm going to have to recap - because I feel obligated to. And if I don't, I'll be two episodes behind which will make me feel worse.

This isn't coherent - and again, it'll pass. But why the heck am I up at 5 in the morning even worrying about this?

Sometimes being the Michael/Vince - blows.

x

Comments

[dissident-dream.livejournal.com]

You should be a Stuart and tell everyone to sod off!

I dont find a problem with the UKQAF fandom, but the American one can be all kinds of bitchy, which is why I tend to stay oblivious of everything, I accidently got caught up in the BJfic wrangle the other week - never again am I posting on a mailing list lol

[mizzhoneeybun.livejournal.com]

*totally agrees*

*huggles* Xof.

[teri-lyn.livejournal.com]

XOF, there will always be those that nipick and generally be a pain. my advice...do what makes you happy. You do soooo much with archiving and the reacpping. if being the Mod is getting you down...don't do it. its a thankless job, i know that. Myself, i want a happy Xof.
++hugggs++

ps...

[teri-lyn.livejournal.com]

if your tired of the recapping then there's no rule that says you have to do it. Even Mikey eventually will stand up and say enough is enough. You aren't a QAF doormat.
love ya lots

P.S.

[(Anonymous)]

*totally agree* Just remember, some of us will love you no matter what you do or do not do! - Margo

*hugs*

[calystarose.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain sweetie *hugs* If you need to take a break, I wouldn't begrudge you that.

Re: *hugs*

[xof1013.livejournal.com]

I'm emailing you privately.

hugs

x

[dkellergrl.livejournal.com]

Don't let them get you too down. Just imagine if you were say, Randy Harrison and you're opinion of a character that you portray for say, 4 years is COMPLETELY different from what the majority of your fanbase WANTS you to have.

At least you don't have that backlash to deal with on a daily basis.

[mickfish.livejournal.com]

I had NO idea all this nonsense was going on...not even sure what is going on honestly, since I don't read half the messages on the group you co-mod (too much spoiler chat) ;) But like the others said, you do what you need to for you - fuck everyone else.

And yes, being the Michael/Vince does suck.

[raveninthewind.livejournal.com]

I stopped participating in the online QAF fandom about a year ago. It got so the negatives outweighed the fun times. I looked at the reasons I wanted to stay and the reasons to leave, and leaving won.

I have to say, now that I've played in several other fandoms--there's way more drama/ugliness in the QAF fandom than all the others combined. I really don't know why, and I don't care, actually. I still check in on various boards/groups occasionally, I read fanfic sometimes (usually writers whose work I already know), and I drop in on some livejournals (all as a lurker). Inevitably, I run across something that makes me remember why I chose to leave.

I guess I was less invested (I'm not a writer) in the fandom, so my decision to withdraw was fairly easy to make. I met some good friends in QAF, so I'm not sorry I found the show, but the party turned ugly, so I left. I still watch the show, but I think the intensity of my fannish involvement fueled my investment in the show, so now I just enjoy QAF as entertainment and don't get emotional about anything realted to the series.

[piper47.livejournal.com]

You want some advice from someone who's been in your position before?

It *never* gets easier. You just have to take it in stride. You either learn to deal with it, or stop dealing with it. Best thing to do is just keep trying because people are going to fight and complain and pretty much bitch like whiney little girls about *everything* and after a year of doing this, you'll start to see that the arguements are always the same, same fights, same insults, but just keep trying to keep them at bay so they don't kill each other. That's all you can really do anything.

I commiserate being up at 5 AM worrying about something that seems so trival, but I've been there. Well... not waking up at 5 AM and worrying, but staying up til near three trying patiently not to tear people's hairs out.

Last bit of advice... keep at it, even if you feel like quiting. Because you will miss it when it's gone. Which sounds so stupid now, but it's true. You even miss the agrrevation and stress when it's all gone.

Hugs!

[kalamitykat.livejournal.com]

Hey xof. I’m sorry to hear about this. I know *all* about situations like these, trust me. It *blows*. Seriously. I, too, was a list-owner of a list, and then I went into lurkedom for a while and some of the members of the group suddenly contacted me, saying that the person I left in charge of the group was using her position to manipulate others. And when I tried to get the upset parties to make peace, it all blew up into my face and *I* was the bad guy suddenly, forced to leave my own group, when all I was trying to do was to understand all parties involved and get them to make up.

You are *so* right – being the Vince/Michael blows. Big time.

If you ever need someone to vent, I’ll gladly listen. Of course that would mean more typing, and I somehow doubt your tired hands will be able to take it. ^_~

Oh, and if you don’t mind, can I add you to my friend’s list?

{{{hugs}}}

Hopefully, you’re doing better now (since this post is like… Oh, two months old. Never mind, ignore me. Just hope you don’t mind if I add you to my friend’s list.)

Hugs,
Kat

Re: Hugs!

[xof1013.livejournal.com]

Hugs....right back.

Of course you can add me.

Welcome....

And thanks.

hugs
xof

Re: Hugs!

[kalamitykat.livejournal.com]

Hugs. And you are more than welcome. :)

And thank you for letting me add you to my friends. :)